‘I’ll Never Be the Same’: My Ukrainian Wife’s First
Trip to the United States, by Nolan Peterson, 11/2/18, Daily Signal.
KYIV, Ukraine—How do you measure
America’s greatness?
By the size of its economy, or the
strength of its military?
By the height of its city skylines,
or the audacity of the moon landings?
Perhaps, by the heroism of the
Marines who landed on Iwo Jima, or of the Army soldiers who landed on Omaha
Beach?
Maybe. But America’s greatness is
not always measured like in the movies or a campaign speech. Sometimes, an
anonymous act of gratitude is proof enough, even if we, as Americans, don’t
always see it that way.
At Garden
of the Gods in Colorado Springs, Colorado. For one month, the author and his
wife, Lilya, traveled across the United States for their honeymoon. (Photo:
Nolan Peterson/The Daily Signal)
In August, my wife, Lilya, and I
were at dinner in Geyserville, California, with my younger brother, Drew, and
his girlfriend, Gabrielle.
We’d been wine tasting all afternoon
and had rounded off the day with a few cocktails to boot. Feeling a bit
loosened up, my brother and I, as is our habit, slipped into a familiar topic
of conversation—the war in Afghanistan.
You see, both Drew and I are U.S.
military veterans. And, naturally, we get to talking about our wartime
experiences whenever we’re together. Often a bit too loudly, as Lilya and
Gabrielle gently suggested on that night in Geyserville.
In any case, as we wrapped up dinner
and asked for the check, the waitress informed us that someone had already paid
our bill. We asked who this person was, but he or she had already left, the
waitress explained. “They asked me to tell you, ‘Thank you for your service,’”
she said.
My brother and I were speechless. It
is, after all, all too easy to assume the country has moved on and forgotten
about our wars when so many of the things that divide us seem to occupy so much
of the news.
The
United States is an inspiration for many people fighting for their freedom
around the world, such as these Kurdish peshmerga soldiers outside Mosul, Iraq,
in 2016. (Photo: Nolan Peterson/The Daily Signal)
On the walk back to the hotel that
night, my wife, who is Ukrainian, told me, “I’m so shocked and impressed. I’ve
never seen such a kind gesture by a stranger. It was magnificent.”
I was moved by the gesture, too. But
it wasn’t the first time someone in America had bought me a drink for being a
veteran. What I didn’t immediately understand is that from my wife’s point of
view, it was a singularly unprecedented, characteristically American, display
of gratitude.
A week later, Lilya and I were
having a drink at a bar in my hometown of Sarasota, Florida. We chatted with
the barman and it came up that I was a former Air Force pilot and a war
correspondent. When it was time to square up the tab, the barman said with a
smile that he wouldn’t take my money.
“Thank you for your service,” he
simply explained.
On our way out the door, my wife
stopped, took my hand, turned to me, and said, “This is the greatest country in
the world.”
Love
and War - In the summer of 2014, I left for
Ukraine to report on the war, thinking I’d be gone for only two weeks. More
than four years later, the war isn’t over and I still live in Ukraine. Most
importantly, I’m now married to Lilya.
In August, Lilya and I traveled
across the United States on our honeymoon. It was her first trip to America.
For my part, I’d spent only a handful of weeks in the U.S. since I first left
for Ukraine in 2014. So, this trip was a homecoming of sorts for me, as well as
a chance to take stock of how much America had changed in the years I’ve been
away.
At the
Warner Bros. Studio in Burbank, California. (Photo: Nolan Peterson/The Daily
Signal)
You, dear reader, surely understand
all the challenges facing our country. You’re likely bombarded with reminders
of these challenges each time you go online or turn on your TV.
Yet, I want to share with you a
perspective of your country that might be as foreign to you as the conflicts on
which I’ve reported. It’s the perspective of my wife—a 22-year-old Ukrainian
woman who was born in the shadow of the Soviet Union and spent most of her
young life amid the backdrop of revolutions and war.
Despite all the broken dreams in her
country, Lilya, like so many Ukrainians of her generation, possesses a clear
vision of the life she wants and deserves. And you, dear reader, are already
living it.
When the jet broke through the
clouds and out the window we saw the lights of the New York City skyline, Lilya
smiled and said, “This is the dream of all my life.”
Checkpoints
- We started in New York City. Despite
my best efforts not to, I wept at ground zero, remembering things from my youth
I don’t often revisit. Like watching on TV as the towers fell during a morning
class at the Air Force Academy. I was only 19, but I understood what that day
meant for my future.
The
author and his wife, Lilya, in the Cadet Chapel at the U.S. Air Force Academy.
(Photo: Nolan Peterson/The Daily Signal)
We marveled at the skyscrapers in
New York and Chicago, and we visited all of Washington, D.C.’s monuments.
Later, under the shadow of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado, we visited the Air
Force Academy, my alma mater.
I won’t lie, I burst with pride to
show Lilya that place.
We walked across the terrazzo—the
academy’s massive central courtyard—and Lilya shook her head in disbelief at
the spectacle of the freshmen (known as doolies) who ran along the marble
strips, dutifully stopping to recite volumes of memorized knowledge at the
upper class cadets’ behests.
At the academy’s War Memorial—a
black stone monument to graduates who fell in battle—I took a quiet moment
alone and ran my fingers across the freshly engraved names of remembered faces.
The U.S.
Air Force Academy terrazzo. (Photo: Nolan Peterson/The Daily Signal)
During our visit, I was honored with
the opportunity to speak to a couple of classes, as well as with the faculty,
to share my wartime experiences. During one classroom session, the professor
put Lilya on the spot and asked for her impression of America. Impromptu public
speaking in a foreign language isn’t easy. But she nailed it. Without missing a
beat, Lilya replied: “This is the greatest country in the world. But most
Americans don’t know it.”
The
author speaking to faculty at the U.S. Air Force Academy. (Photo: Lilya
Peterson)
Gratitude
- From Colorado we flew to Phoenix and
drove across the desert to the Grand Canyon and then on to Las Vegas. In
California, we visited Hollywood, drove over the Golden Gate Bridge, hiked in
the redwood forests, and enjoyed wine country to its fullest. We doubled back
across the country to Florida and toured the Kennedy Space Center, where we saw
the Space Shuttle Atlantis and a Saturn V moon rocket.
In the end, we traveled from sea to
shining sea and concluded our journey in Sarasota, where Lilya met my
93-year-old grandmother, Joan, for the first time.
Lilya
with her grandmother-in-law, Joan Peterson, in Sarasota, Florida. (Photo: Nolan
Peterson/The Daily Signal)
As they held hands and chatted, I
felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude that we were able to find a way to
America while there was still time. And while more than 70 years separated
their lives, I also observed a special bond between my wife and grandmother.
They both possess a unique
appreciation for life’s little pleasures. And for good reason. My grandmother
has lived through the Great Depression, wars, and societal upheavals. For her
part, my young wife has already lived through two revolutions and a war.
Of course, you don’t have to endure
such historic challenges to appreciate life’s blessings. But, I must say, it’s
all too easy to misjudge the gravity of life’s problems when you’re used to
peace and prosperity—after all, there’s no micro-aggression, no trigger, no
slur or verbal insult that could ever compare with the impartial brutalities of
revolution and war.
The
author with his grandmother, Joan Peterson, in Sarasota, Florida. (Photo: Nolan
Peterson/The Daily Signal)
The truth is, every American, each and
every one of us, is privileged. We’re privileged because we are American.
If you don’t think so then lift your
eyes to the horizon, over which exists a world where the overwhelming majority
of humanity does not enjoy the self-evident entitlements we so flippantly take
for granted—things like life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The more cynical among us will
likely roll their eyes at the preceding sentence, writing it off as overwrought
jingoism. But when hardship and war comprise your daily reality, you don’t take
America’s greatness lightly, or for granted.
Whether we want it or not, we
Americans have inherited an awesome responsibility. We are the caretakers of
the promise of democracy for people around the world who yearn for it.
Of course, we’re not the only
democracy in the world. But I’ve seen firsthand how the ideal of American
democracy stands alone in the eyes of Ukraine’s soldiers, the Kurds in Iraq, or
even octogenarian Tibetan freedom fighters. For them, America symbolizes a dream
worth fighting for.
I was proudest of my homeland when I
showed it to my wife for the first time and saw her eyes illuminate in witness
of a dream foretold. I also silently hoped that America wouldn’t let her down.
The
author and his wife at dinner at the top of the John Hancock Center in Chicago.
(Photo: Nolan Peterson/The Daily Signal)
Yes, we may fail in our time to
realize the promise of our founding for every American. Yet, despite the long
shadow of our past sins and the gravity of our contemporary shortcomings, we
haven’t quit yet and better make sure we never do.
Because the world is always watching
us. Always. And there are plenty of dark forces in this world held at bay by
the simple fact that America is still a dream worth fighting for.
Yes, we aren’t perfect. But if not
us then who?
Common
Bonds - The front lines against tyranny
aren’t always found on the battlefields against goose-stepping armies.
Sometimes, that battle is won at the dinner table, in a classroom, in a random
encounter on the sidewalk, or even in a Facebook post.
Sometimes, victory is measured by
the courage to show decency and respect and to find common purpose with someone
with whom you share nothing in common except for being American.
After everything I’ve seen, I still
believe that if the better angels of our nature win in America, then they will
win everywhere. The world is watching us, remember.
In Las
Vegas, Nevada—one stop on a monthlong, cross-country trip for the author and
his wife, Lilya. After more than four years of reporting on the war in Ukraine,
it was a homecoming of sorts for the author. (Photo: Nolan Peterson/The Daily
Signal)
So, how do you measure America’s
greatness? My wife saw our moon rockets and our skyscrapers and our monuments
and our natural wonders. Yet, in the end, what impressed her most were those
unnecessary and unsolicited acts of thanksgiving for my military service by
total strangers.
“I never thought that random people
would be so kind to strangers just because they respect them,” Lilya told me.
“America really is the greatest country on earth.”
She paused for a beat and then
added, “This trip changed the way I see everything, and I’ll never be the same”
See original article and pictures
at:
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