Gay History

Instead of redefining marriage, we should give gays their due for their contributors to western civilization and study Gay History.

Homer 850 BC. Homer was extremely close to his brother Jethro, 

Amenities, an ancient gay Greek, is the father of interior decorating, 480 BC.  His significant others included Socrates and the 300 Spartans. 

Obscene, the gay Persian was known for the colorful rugs he sold to Amenities.  He had a brief tryst with Plato and his brothers Knifo, Forko and Cupo, but his extreme guilt about being gay drove him to the edge.  He beheaded himself in 400 BC

Precarious, an ancient gay Roman was the father of acrobatics and the inventor of the high wire and trapeze.  He fell to his death in 80BC and was devoured by lions.  His significant others included Grabus and his sister Flagella.

Promiscuous, the gay Roman hooker (80 BC) was pursued for years by Spartacus and his army. His significant others included the Emperor Gluteus Maximus, his sister Flotilla and whoever happened to be in the Roman baths.

Pediphillious the 4^th century gay Roman monk was the founder of the Vatican boy’s choir. Enough said.

Béarnaise, an 11^th century gay Frenchman was the father of French cooking and rich sauces.  His significant others included his students Soufflé, Escargot, and Croissant, who became famous in their own right.

Ambiance and Venue  were 14^th century gay French interior decorators who were students of Amenities.  Ambiance greatly influenced later generations.  They were the inspiration for 17^th century Gays barbers to become ballet dancers and hairdressers.

Plie’ the 16^th century gay ballet dancer’s influence is unrivaled. Virtually all of our ballet dancers today are gay.  His significant others included Glissades and Saute who helped him perfect the Ronds de Jambs A Terre, which can be very painful.

Bouffant was a 17^th century gay French barber.  Bouffant is the father of gay hairdressers.  His significant others included the court of Louie XIV and most of the sheep in Leon. .

Disabled History ( I can’t stop…someone help me…)

Homer’s blindness

Yes that’s right Homer the 8^th century BC Greek poet was blind.  Homer’s mother would tell him, “If you don’t stop doing that, you’ll go blind.”  He didn’t listen.   But being blind was a blessing for Homer.  He would wander about reciting his poetry thinking everyone was listening and never felt rejected, because he couldn’t see everybody quietly walking away.

Alexander the Great’s epilepsy

Alexander suffered greatly from epilepsy because he couldn’t get health insurance.  He tried to be gay, but every time he got excited he fell down and oscillated.  This frightened his would-be partners and they ran out of his tent.

Ludwig van Beethoven

Beethoven was a great 18^th century musician and composer, even after he became deaf.  Like Homer’s blindness, this was a mixed blessing.  He no longer flew into a rage in reaction to bad music played sloppily.

Vincent van Gogh

Van Gogh was a gifted 19^th century Dutch painter.  He had everything including: schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, syphilis, poisoning from swallowed paints, temporal lobe epilepsy and acute intermittent porphyria, aggravated by malnutrition, overwork, insomnia, and a fondness for alcohol, and absinthe in particular. Having lived 37 years by 1890, the beginning of the gay 90s, and not being gay, he shot himself.

Posted on ntlconsulting.blogspot.com 4/12/12, and Political Almanac: Popular Culture

Norb Leahy, Dunwoody GA Tea Party Leader