I don’t know a
business owner schlepping this rock, who has a company that he wants to
succeed, who would knowingly hire… a pussy.
For certain, some do
hire pussies for various stupid and regretful reasons. However, if they could,
in a perfect world, most would avoid employing a man-child like Trump would
flee from a Wet T-Shirt Contest featuring Rosie O’Donnell and her pasty and
droopy stalactites and her gelatinous, bulbous gut.
Further, I don’t know
any individuals that want to dole out their hard earned cash and purposely
contract out some dilatory dolt to do any job, big or small.
Yea, dear reader, when
it comes down to handling a company’s goods, services or merchandise I know of
no one with a lick of sense who will say to themselves, “Hey, self, why don’t
you hire a pussy for this task?” But, for whatever
reason, sadly, we do; and the ubiquitous dandies do slip into our employ.
My purpose for this
chapter is to help business owners avoid pussies like the plague. I hope this
chapter helps you to quickly spot them and get rid of them PDQ before they cost
you your time, talent and treasure.
In addition to doing
the aforementioned, I also intend to give you, little Tinkerpot, some advice on
how not to be smoke in the eyes of your employer. And with that opening salvo,
let’s have some fun, shall we?
First off, allow me to
bash some of us who have ever hired a pussy. Yep, before I go postal on the
pussies, we need to take it on the chin and own up to the fact that it’s
usually our fault if we ever got sideswiped by a douche that we employed when
we shouldn’t have.
Here’s what I mean: For
example: Did you really have to hire your dorky relative to work for your
company? Really? Because I’m a-guessin’, if they weren’t your kin you probably
wouldn’t have paid them a plugged nickel to rake dog crap in your kennel
because they’re so inept.
Look, nobody forced
you to do that, but you “wanted to help the family”, so you did; and now you’re
suffering the negative consequences, which I will discuss later, by hiring a
limp biscuit “just because they had your last name or your mother’s maiden
name”; or were somehow roughly connected to your gene pool, which, evidently,
someone must have peed in at one time or the other. But I digress.
In addition, did you
really do due diligence in your hiring process? Did you truly perform a serious
background check? Were you so desperate to hire whomever that desperation
overrode intelligence and intuition and now you’re in a SNAFU of ginormous
proportions? Look, we’ve all done it.
What we must do, going
forward, is mitigate the likelihood of that self-inflicted gunshot wound to the
wallet ever occurring again. Before I plow on allow me to allay any angst you
might have in being a hard-ass in the judging and hiring process for your business,
which is, by the way, your baby. Speaking of babies, just like you wouldn’t
allow Achmed the Dead Terrorist to babysit your little daughter, you should be
equally reticent to allow a dipstick into your company’s ranks.
Here’s why you
shouldn’t “feel bad” or that “you’re being mean” by not giving a googin a shot
and a spot in your company. Are you ready?
One great reason why
you should not hire the lame is… God warns you not to. And when God speaks, we
should listen because… well… he’s God and we’re clods and he loves us enough
that he doesn’t want our gig to get hamstrung by some ham-fisted wanker. So,
don’t feel like you’re un-righteously being difficult because even God loathes
and warns us away from employing leě pussy. “Where doth God warn me away from
the soul-sucking saps that’ll zap the life out of my company?” you asked? Well,
I’m glad you asked, you inquiring mind you. It’s in King Solomon’s bag of
goodies, the Book of Proverbs. For certain, Solomon doesn’t label the pussies
“pussies” in his inspired denunciations. He calls them “sluggards” which is a
major character trait/flaw of the overcooled that I’m clobbering.
Without further ado,
here’s what the wisest man in the world has to say about the sluggard, how to
spot them and why a business owner must avoid them. I guarantee you’ve never
heard your Hipster, skinny-jeaned pastor ever hammer his shiftless congregation
with these goodies.
1. The sluggard is
lazy.
“How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slum- ber, a little folding of the hands to rest—and poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man.” Proverbs 6:9-11 (NIV)
“How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slum- ber, a little folding of the hands to rest—and poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man.” Proverbs 6:9-11 (NIV)
Dear Bosses: did you
catch what the lazy-ass sluggard attracts to himself? Poverty and scarcity.
Question: is that what you want for your company? Poverty and scarcity?
Huh? Do you want your
business to be impoverished? If so… then hire someone who’s lazy. Hire a
procrastinator. Hire someone who’s attached to their bed. Hire the laggard
who’s apathetic, dull, inattentive, indifferent, passive, comatose, inert,
lymphatic, moony, nebbishy and languorous; and you can kiss your sweet profits,
adios!
2. The sluggard is an
excuse-maker.
A sluggard says,
“There’s a lion in the road, a fierce lion roaming the streets!” Proverbs 26:13 (NIV). One thing a pussy is
really good at is making excuses for why he’s unable to fulfill the duty he’s
been paid to do. When Solomon penned the aforementioned golden nug- get, Israel
still held a decent population of lions. So, the ancient pussy, hiding his
ancient pussiness, brought up the reality of man-eaters being in proximity to
his person as an excuse to why he “can’t” work today. Pretty creative, eh? “I
can’t work because a lion might eat me.” Well, kiss my grits.
Business owners, you
know that the business world is fraught with “lions” that love to eat workers and the companies they work for. It’s par for the course.
It’s the law of the jungle. Eat or be eaten. The business world is bloody. It’s
war. And the bigger the business, the bloodier. Therefore, if you have in your
employment someone who keeps whining about competition or how difficult things
are in the “Serengeti” wherein you labor, then you have an excuse-making pussy
on your hands that you need to cut because the more they yarble about lions the
more they cudgel off your growth and prof- its. Also, here’s a little FYI:
their excuse-making spirit will spread like wild fire and infect your entire
company. So… can them, asap.
3. The sluggard is a
taxing bastard.
“Go to the ant, O
sluggard, Observe her ways and be wise, Which, having no chief, Officer or
ruler, Prepares her food in the summer And gathers her provision in the
harvest.”
Proverbs 6:6-8 (NIV)
Proverbs 6:6-8 (NIV)
Solomon implies, in
Proverbs Six, that the sluggard needs a boss or they won’t do jack. I call
those types of pussies “wheel barrow people.” They only go as far as you push
them and that’s it. Your best bet is to get rid of people who require constant
supervision and prodding. They’re stubborn jackasses and you can’t make a
racehorse out of a jackass.
Oh, I’m sure some of
you employers think you’re like Jesus and can turn water into wine, but you’ll
find out soon enough that if they aren’t internally motivated you’re not going
to change them; and if you keep them in your company you’ll end up screwed,
glued and tattooed. What you’re hunting for in an employee is the ant-like dude
or dudette that doesn’t need a boss’s constant whip crackin’ over them in order
to get stuff done.
4.The sluggard craves.
“The soul of the
sluggard craves and gets nothing.” Proverbs 13:4 (NIV)
This is an interesting
little ditty about the pussy, and one that employers often get bamboozled by,
namely, the sluggard craves. Yep, the dilatory do have desires. They want to
live like Puff Dad- dy. They want the nice house, the sweet ride and the cool
vacations, but they won’t do diddlysquat to righteously attain what they dream
about on mamma’s couch, doing bong hits, while masturbating to the Price Is
Right’s spokesmodels.
To listen to them
blather about what they want and where they would like to be, oftentimes, can
be confused with ambition when, in reality, it’s a frickin’ pipe dream. It’s as
unreal as an acid trip. In my fifty-three
years I’ve heard these dreamy clowns talk about who they want to be and where
they want to go, but at the end of the day, they sit on their butts and do
little to nothing to attain what they crave. Your best bet is, after you hear
them yodel about wanting to be the next Bon Jovi, check to see if they have a
great track record of working their butt off. If not, you’ve got a dreamy pussy
on your hands.
5. The sluggard is
arrogant.
“The sluggard is wiser
in his own eyes than seven men who can give a discreet answer.”
Proverbs 26:16 (NIV) I love this one. The pussy, who hasn’t done anything in life, thinks he’s smarter than the accomplished.
Proverbs 26:16 (NIV) I love this one. The pussy, who hasn’t done anything in life, thinks he’s smarter than the accomplished.
In July of 2012, my
business partner and I launched our political blog, ClashDaily.com. At this
writing, December 2016, we’ve had 175 million page views, built a Facebook fan
base of 940,000 with a weekly reach, via Facebook, of 8-10 million. That’s not too
shabby. The funny thing is that, during our inception and along our merry way,
we’ve had a stack of clowns tell us “we could do what you’re doing better than
you’re doing it.” The fact I find entertaining is they haven’t; and we’re still
crushing it. But, if one were to listen to them, they would crow with great
unction that they’re “way more savvy than Team Clash”. But there they are,
doing nada except pulling lint out of their navel while we stomp skulls.
Please note: Pussies
love… and I mean love… to tell themselves, their mother, their three cats and
their clueless wife and/or girlfriend who’s paying their bills, that they’re
the sharpest knife in the drawer. But they’re not. They’re nothing but a dreamy
lot of hot air. Therefore, don’t let their delusions deter you or shock you
when you hear these carpy, lardy hagfish try to upstage you. They’re wise,
according to Solomon, only in their eyes and are; by their very nature, “fools”
whose endgame is a crappy life, followed by destruction (Proverbs 24:30, 34;
6:11). As you can tell, a
myopic cyclops can see why Solomon shoos the shrewd business owner away from
the half-cocked, fully baked pussy. Who the heck wants a wafty, unmotivated,
excuse making, know-it-all, who lives for comfort over duty, anywhere near
their enterprise? The answer: no one who has a scintilla of common sense,
that’s who.
ClashDaily.com’s, Editor-In-Chief, Doug
Giles addresses our nation’s abysmal Pussification in his NEW book …by Doug Giles PUSS-I-FI-CA-TION*:
The act, or process, of a man being shamed, taught, led, pastored, drugged or
otherwise coerced or cajoled into throwing out his brain, handing over his
balls and formally abandoning the rarefied air of the testosterone-leader-fog
that God and nature hardwired him to dwell in, and instead become a weak,
effeminate, mangina-sporting, shriveled up little pussy. From The Doug Giles
2016 Dictionary of Grow the Hell Up, You Pussy! Doug Giles,
best-selling author of Raising Righteous And Rowdy Girls and
Editor-In-Chief of the mega-blog, ClashDaily.com, has just penned a book he
guarantees will kick hipster males into the rarefied air of masculinity.
That is, if the
man-child will put down his frappuccino; shut the hell up and listen and obey
everything he instructs them to do in his timely and tornadic tome.
In PUSSIFICATION: The Effeminization Of The American Male, Giles takes ‘Crispin’ from the
unaccomplished, prissy and dank corridors of ‘Pussville’ up the steep,
treacherous and unforgiving trail that leads to ‘Mantown.’ “Secretly, everybody’s
getting tired of political correctness, kissing up. That’s the kiss-ass
generation we’re in right now. We’re really in a pussy generation.” – Clint
Eastwood
Chapters include:
– Four Signs You’ve
Been Pussified
– Bullies Love, And I
Mean LOVE, Pussies (especially Big Government goons and Islamic
radicals!)
– Dear Christian: You
Might be a Pussy … but Jesus Ain’t
– Business Owners
Should Avoid Pussies Like the Plague
– Real Women Hate
Pussies
– How Parents Can
Avoid Raising a Pussy
– Four ‘MUSTS’ For
Males To Move From Pussville To Mantown
This is definitely one
of the most politically incorrect books to ever hit the market.
It will most certainly
offend the entitled whiners, but it will also be a breath of fresh air to young
males who wish to be men versus hipster dandies.
Doug Giles, Creator of ClashDaily.com and author of the #1 Amazon best-seller, PUSSIFICATION: The Effeminization Of The American Male, has created a coloring book just for the fragile little college snowflakes.
Check this out from
Amazon.com’s product description …
Dear College Student: Here’s
a coloring book just for you! We know you’re angry that Trump got elected so we’re here
to help exorcise your devils and give you some much-needed relief through coloring. If you haven’t ever
colored before, here are some tips to help you draw a pretty picture that you
can cherish for years to come.
It’s pretty simple.
Just try to stay inside the lines. That’s it. Have fun and use all your
crayons. Make your Mommy and Daddy proud. Hell, who knows … they might even put
it on their refrigerator for all your friends and relatives to see!
God bless you, little
Tinkerpot. Your Friend, Doug
Giles
Doug tells us his new
coloring book ‘is very offensive, will definitely melt snowflakes, and God
& Country lovin’ Americans will howl with laughter over its contents’
http://clashdaily.com/2016/12/dear-college-snowflakes-heres-5-reasons-employers-hate/?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=229867&utm_keyword=major1&utm_content=22160986&utm_source=Email&utm_medium=email&utm_content=subscriber_id:22160986&utm_campaign=DEAR%20COLLEGE%20SNOWFLAKES:%20Here%E2%80%99s%205%20Reasons%20Employers%20HATE%20You
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