Sunday, March 7, 2010

Lessons in Leadership
If you’re tired of a lackluster stock market, there are a few things you can do:
1. Make banks loan money to people with no money.
2. Get investment banks to package these loans so their actual value cannot be determined.
3. Place bets that the loans will default and wait for the loans to go bad
4. Get FASB to impose Mark to Market accounting rules; these don’t work so well in a down market.
5. Pull all your money out of the stock market and wait for the bottom.
6. Head for a down market and sell short on stocks you don’t even own.
7. Let mortgage-based security values go to zero under Mark to Market to create a liquidity freeze.
8. Give $ trillions of taxpayer dollars to your campaign contributors.
9. Let the stock market drop at least 50%.
10. Relax your Mark to Market rule and announce that you and your friends are going to buy these worthless assets;
11. Buy stocks at half their original cost, make a lot of money and take credit for saving the global financial system.
12. Sell all your stocks, buy gold and wait for the dollar to tank.

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