Two engineering students were biking across a university
campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The
second engineer replied, Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own
business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground,
took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first
engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably
wouldn't have fit you anyway."
To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the
glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to
be.
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning
for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with
those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor
chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The
priest said, "Here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with
him." He said, "Hello George, What's wrong with that group ahead of
us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens-keeper replied,
"Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving
our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime!"
The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I
think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said,
"Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if
here's anything she can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't
they play at night?"
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and
civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build
targets.
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it
work?" The graduate with an engineering degree asks, How
does it work?" The graduate with an accounting degree asks*, "How
much will it cost?"* The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you
want fries with that?
(I am so loving this one).
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog
called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into
a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his
pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back
into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week." The engineer
took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The
frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess,
I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want." Again, the
engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told
you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do
anything you want. Why won't you kiss
me? The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's cool."
And Finally Two engineers were standing at the base of a
flagpole, looking at its top. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but
we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened
a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape
measure from her purse, took a measurement, announced, "18 feet," and
walked away. One engineer shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that
does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!" Both
engineers have since quit their engineering jobs and are currently serving as
elected members of our President's National security* *team.*
Source;
Dick Anderson email
Comments
Communication
between engineers is inversely proportionate to the distance they have to
travel. Doing a good job is like peeing
in a dark pair of trousers; nobody notices, but you get that warm feeling.
Norb
Leahy, Dunwoody GA Tea Party Leader
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