Divorce Agreement written by a young college student
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives,
socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, etal:
We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake
of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me
realize that I want a divorce.
I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake
of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its
course
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not
ever agree on what is right for
us all, so let's just end it on friendly
terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here
is our separation agreement:
--- DIVORCE AGREEMENT ---
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by
landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but
I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement.
After that, it should be relatively easy! Our
respective representatives can effortlessly divide
other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
We don't like "spreading the wealth" so we'll
keep ours and you can spread yours
all you want.
We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them
all. We will take a different approach - only enough government to protect
our God-given Rights, allow our citizens to be the best that they can be and
pay their taxes in proportion to what the government actually does for them -
not in proportion to their ability to be robbed by the government.
Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms,
the cops, the NRA and the military
(except, we'll give you the
homosexuals bi-sexuals, and trans-sexuals if you insist).
We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry, the coal mines,
gas wells and all the radioactive
material, good or bad. You can go with wind, solar, geo-thermal,
ethanol from corn and bio diesel.
We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations,
pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart
and Wall Street. You are welcome to all the Socialist, Communist,
Muslim and Jihadist entities and all government controls.
You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers,
food stamps, homeless, home boys,
hippies, druggies, illegal aliens and the unions.
We will make it against the law to be here illegally or
to hire illegals ! Imagine that !
We will also give not one penny of government money to the benefit of illegals.
We will encourage immigration of those that want to enjoy the Land of Freedom
but only if they want to assimilate to our culture, our laws and our way of
life (just like it used to be - the dream of the entire World - the Land of
Opportunity). You can have all the recently invented rules, laws and circumventions
that protect those that are here illegally and want to change our land and
culture into something it never was.
While we're at it we will also stop Unemployment
Compensation for those that cannot legally work and for those that are
legally able to work, didn't pay into the fund or don't try to find a job-
any kind of job - every single day. You can have all those that have
quit looking for a job because it pays to not work.
You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We will be
looking at it a bit differently:
Every part of our health-care system will feature Freedom of Choice and rely on Free Markets to
provide incentives to excel at every level - so everyone can have the opportunity
to figure out how to offer more and better coverage for less money. We
will not be forcing our citizens to pay for the consequences of someone
else's poor choices in life. Nor will we make them criminals if they choose
not to participate in any insurance plans. We will also encourage our
citizens for provide for "Bad Luck" by buying Insurance Policies -
WOW! What a unique concept.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values, the Constitution
and the Rule of Law - exactly as
it was originally intended. We are not sure what you will do for your own
version or form of government but we expect it will be a pure Democracy, where the Majority Rules and the
minorities are "out of luck".
We'll keep "under God" in our Pledge of
Allegiance and we'll keep "In
God we Trust" on our money. We will also go back to the Gold Standard, where there is
something of true value behind
every dollar. We will abolish the FED and give it to you. We'll
even give you most of the printing presses so you can print all the "funny
money" you like and rely upon inflation to rob the people daily in ever
so small, almost unfelt, increments.
We will have to re-write the re-written history books so
that there can be no doubt about
the truth - that our Founding Fathers deeply believed in GOD, Prayer and
Religion based upon on Judeo-Christian principles - that they fully
understood that moral values cannot exist without religion - because none of
us are capable of being Angels and we all need to be ultimately accountable
for our actions. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and
political correctness.
You can also have the U.N. But we will no longer be paying
the bill. If you want to keep it in our territory you will have to pay the rent and there will be no Diplomatic
Immunity.
We'll keep our Bibles and give you NBC, ABC, CNN, MSNBC,
Bill Gates, Microsoft, General Electric, General Motors and Hollywood.
You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
We will stick with the old idea that the Legislature makes the Laws, The Executive
enforces them and the Judicial merely sees that they are properly, according
to Original Intent, interpreted.
You can keep Oprah, Michael Mooreand Rosie O'Donnell.
You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to
move all three of them.
We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's, hill-billies and rednecks.
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain
the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can try to
make friends by being the International Police if you like. We think
the Founding Fathers were right when they warned that we should guard against
foreign, entangling alliances. The Founders believed the United States should
try to be friendly with all nations, but beholden to none. Whenever we
give special concessions to the 1st country, all the other countries feel
slighted. As soon as you give the 2nd country a special concession, you
now have ALL the countries feeling slighted. It only gets worse from
there.
You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our
allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security
and help teach them how to take care of themselves. We'll let you decide
whether to sell out your allies or bribe their leaders - good luck.
We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury
cars. You can take every Volt, Leaf, hybrid, bicycle and motor-scooter you
can find.
We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and
"The National Anthem." I'm sure you'll be happy to
substitute something along the lines of "Imagine", "I'd Like to
Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the
World".
We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue
to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
We will encourage free markets and education but the government will have ZERO control in
any of it. We will give you the IRS, FEMA, Homeland Security and the
EPA, along with the Departments of Education, Energy, Agriculture, Defense,
Justice, most of the Spy Agencies, Health and Human Service and even SAMHSA
(The Substance Abuse and Mental
Health Services Administration). You can have them all - make
government as big as possible, let it control every part of your lives and
make it impossible for anyone to say or do anything that is offensive to
anybody.
We will restore Freedom of Choice, Individual
Responsibility, Parents Rights,
Churches Rights of Free Speech and all the Charities (they worked quite well for
the first 10,000 years). You can have virtually all of the millions of
governmental regulations and we won't stop you from stealing your citizens' money to give
to your favorites.
We will strive offer our citizens Equality of
Opportunity, just like it used to
be and you can have "Equal Results", regardless of effort, ability,
incentive or resources, and, of
course, the resulting "Equality in Poverty".
Every single thing our government does will be done
in English. You can have as
many languages as needed to divide the people and consume their will, pride,
incentive and money.
Since they so often offend you, we'll keep our history,
our name and all our original
flags. You are welcome to all the
re-written history, politically correct names and re-names and un-offensive
flags you can find.
In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll
bet you might want to think about which one of us will need whose help in 15
years.
Sincerely, John J. Wall, Law Student and an American
P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin
& Charlie Sheen, Barbra
Streisand, Shirley McClain& (Hanoi) Jane Fonda with you.
P.S.S. You will have one communication advantage - you
won't have to "press 1 for English" when you call our country.
Would you agree to this?
If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal
and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete.
|
The person who
wrote this is a college (law) student.. Perhaps there is hope for us after all
Source: http://www.bigbigforums.com/news-information/661191-divorce-agreement-written-young-college-student-30-star-rating.html
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