By Norbert
T. Leahy, February 1994
Dear
Citizen,
We hope
you think that we in government are doing a good job. We know that life isn't perfect and,
therefore, we have made that our philosophy.
We are doing the best we can with the little money we have. We have been busy worrying about our
society. That's our job. We would like to share some of our
concerns. We are having some problems
funding our criminal justice and education systems, and our environmental
protection and health programs and could use more money. Most of all, we want you as citizens to do
your part by volunteering to help us implement our newest program ideas.
Our
parole boards are having to let violent criminals out of jail because there
aren't enough jail cells. We would like
for you to initiate a petition to increase your state and federal taxes so that
we can set up a fund and study it and maybe build some more prisons in 10 or 20
years. In the meantime, we are excited
about using the money to start our new "adopt a felon" program, where
you can adopt a released convict and keep him in your home and be the family he
never had.
Our immigration service is concerned that
illegal immigrants are streaming across our borders and have given up trying to
catch and deport them because they all claim political asylum. We passed a law that prevents companies from
hiring them, so some are selling drugs and the others are going on welfare. We are currently planning an "adopt an
illegal Immigrant" program so that you can keep one in your home and learn
a second language and a different culture.
Some
time ago, we let all of the crazy people out of the mental institutions because
we were afraid that we were violating their civil rights and besides, we needed
the money we spent to keep them there for other things. We need a "crazy person neighborhood
watch" program so that if these people wander into your neighborhood, we
will know what they are doing. Remember,
we can't do anything unless they kill somebody, so if they do, make sure to
call and let us know.
Our
police officers are unable to stop the violent crime associated with drug gangs
and crazy people. Drugs flow freely over
the border, and crazy people are everywhere.
We need money so we can hire 100,000 police officers who can get out
into bad neighborhoods where these drug gangs and crazy people live so they can
get to know them.
Our
teachers are having to teach kids about safe sex, hand out condoms, check kids
for weapons and teach classes in self esteem, environmental protection,
diversity, homosexuality, child abuse, and political correctness. Consequently, we no longer have the time or
money to teach them to read, write, or do math.
We would appreciate it if you could go over reading, writing, and math
with your kids at home in your spare time.
We would like to avoid any further decline in their SAT scores.
Our
nuclear production sites are a mess. We
can't clean them up. This stuff could be
leaking into your drinking water soon.
We need money to throw at this until somebody figures out what to do.
Our
Medicare and Medicaid programs were a big success, and the demand for health
care skyrocketed. Giving free health
care to old and poor people was much more expensive than we thought, and there's
no end in sight. We are continuing to spend
much more on these programs than we take.
Rather than raise your taxes, we decided not to pay the providers what
they charged. These providers then
raised their charges to make up for what we didn't pay. Insurance premiums got so high that 37
million people didn't buy health insurance and really sick people couldn't get
it. Providers treated them anyway and
raised their charges to make up for what they didn't pay. Well, now we have to fix this mess and make
everybody buy health Insurance. We need
your support to make these 37 million people pay premiums to the insurance
companies. It's an outrage.
On a more positive note,
we want to share our excitement with you over some of the ideas we have to help
families through government programs and create more non-manufacturing
jobs. We are excited about our health
reform, foreign trade, and gun control initiatives as well as our plans to
purchase more land. We plan to issue
everyone a national health card and a national ID card and perhaps give
everyone a tattoo with their number on it for a small fee. In addition, we are excited about our plans
to help the former Soviet Union, South America, Africa, Asia, certainly all of
the third world countries, and let's not forget about Europe. I hope you are as excited as we are about our
ideas for new programs, and we know you'll agree that increasing taxes, so that
we can begin to cook up new things to try on our many problems and fund many
worthy projects, is the answer. We need
to hire a lot more government employees, because you taxpayers will be
demanding a lot more government services, and it's our job to see that you get
them. Warmest regards, Your Government
Source:
Published in THE JOURNAL OF THE MEDICAL ASSOCIATION OF GEORGIA Volume 84
FEBUARY 1994, Mr.
Leahy Is President of NTL Human Resources Management Consulting, 1312
Wynterceek Lane, Dunwoody, GA 30338
Comments: Some
things never change
Norb
Leahy, Dunwoody GA Tea Party Leader
Posted
on ntlconsulting.blogspot.com November 2015
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