Philosophers

Monty Python: Bruce’s Philosopher Song

Lyrics

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
who was very rarely stable.

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
who could think you under the table.

David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel.

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya
'bout the raising of the wrist, Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.

Plato, they say, could stick it away,
Half a crate of whiskey every day.

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
And Hobbes was fond of his dram.

And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart,
"I drink, therefore I am."

Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed,
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed.

http://www.metrolyrics.com/bruces-philosophers-song-lyrics-monty-python.html

Kant: 1724-1804. “Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life”. “I had therefore to remove knowledge, in order to make room for belief.”  “If man makes himself a worm he must not complain when he is trodden on”.

Heidegger: 1889-1976. “He who thinks great thoughts, often makes great errors.” That was good, but nothing else he says makes any sense.

David Hume: 1711-1776. He invented Moral Relativism.

Hobbs: 1588-1679.” The life of man (in a state of nature) is solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short” He was correct for his time but he was just an authoritarian political scientist

Wittgenstein 1889-1951. “I don’t know why we are here, but I’m pretty sure it is not in order to enjoy ourselves” He was more fun than the others.

Schlegel 1772-1829. “Plato's philosophy is a dignified preface to future religion.” He was a Liberal activist.

Nietzsche: 1844-1900. He complained that society had killed God, but God had other plans. He went nuts and died.

Socrates: 469-399 BC.  “The only thing I know is that I know nothing”. He was correct and he was humble about it. He was the first to invent Communism

John Stuart Mill 1806-1873 He promoted Communism.

Aristotle: 384-322 BC. “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit” He invented logic and we’ve suffered from it ever since.

Descartes: 1596-1650. He did ok in math physics but never understood people.

Plato: 428-348 BC.  He was a student of Socrates and he didn’t know anything either. He continued inventing Communism.

http://www.philosophybasics.com/general_quotes.html

Comments

I know the Monty Python gang liked Schopenhauer; they just never had enough verses to put him in this song. 

Schopenhauer 1788-1860 said: ”Politeness is to human nature what warmth is to wax.”  He was fun, but weird.

I got to study these Philosophers in college and was amazed that they were revered.  I enjoyed their observations, but I wasn’t satisfied with most of their conclusions. I understand why the Monty Python gang thought they were a bunch of drunks.

I liked the guys who the founders liked.

John Locke: 1632- 1704 He introduced the notion that government existed to protect citizens’ “inalienable rights’.

Voltaire: 1694-1778 “Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.” “Optimism is the madness of insisting that all is well when we are miserable.”

Rousseau 1712-1778 “No man has any natural authority over his fellow men.” “Our will is always for our own good, but we do not always see what that is.”   

These guys were smart and wise.

Cicero 106-43 BC. Cicero was a lawyer and counsel and a member of the Roman Senate.  He defended the Roman Republic and refused to support the election of Julius Caesar as Emperor. His writings in defense of the Republic were widely read by the Founders.

 https://www.iep.utm.edu/cicero/

Norb Leahy, Dunwoody GA Tea Party Leader